sometimes you have to swallow your pride //

I'm supposed to be writing an annotated bibliography that is due at midnight. I was also supposed to go to Econ at 12:30 but I had a friend FaceTime me instead.

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes you are wrong. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride.

I just got off the phone with my sweet mission president's wife. Before that I was texting back and forth with my "mission mom" in Oklahoma. They both told me the same thing.

All you need is love.

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit and chuckled at the saying. But they're right.

One of  them said something to the effect of "you cannot change anyone. you can decide how you react to the situation. the only thing that will change them is unconditional & constant love"

All I could think was....ugh.

There comes a point where you realize that other peoples choices and opinions and words and actions are affecting you way too much. Sometimes to the point that you get physically sick. Trust me, I've been there.

Lately I've kind of been all over the place. Scheduling things every hour with fun friends trying to numb this lack of love I've been feeling. This dumb feeling of abandonment I placed on myself. Because you know what, I am a loved person. And so are you.

Everyone knows somebody that struggles with feeling like people actually care about them.

I also learned that people don't really care that much that you are sad. I mean they do, but they aren't going to jump in front of a train to save you from your own self-pity. So the best thing to do is probably just to get over it. Then shake it off and get on with your day.

So here's to me smiling through this dumb sadness and going to play soccer. Good day my friends xo